


Sleep Is For The Dead (And We’re Not There Yet)

by Writinger



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 22:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21216365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writinger/pseuds/Writinger
Summary: Senkuu has trouble sleeping.





	Sleep Is For The Dead (And We’re Not There Yet)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hadrian_Pendragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Pendragons/gifts), [purpleSquiggles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleSquiggles/gifts), [Luna_Moon22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Moon22/gifts).

Senkuu has trouble sleeping.

He was a light sleeper before the petrification, but surviving on his own, making everything from scratch, keeping an eye out for predators, being alone (he doesn’t have _Taiju_ or _Yuzuriha_ or _Byakuya_ or _**anyone**_...)

It’s a lot.

The first few nights after he breaks free, he can barely sleep. He finds a tree that he thinks will make a good shelter and he tries to rest in its branches. But he _can’t_. His mind is in overdrive, he can’t think of anything else but _stay alive, stay safe_ so that when (it’s _when_, not _if_) his friends wake up, they’ll have something to wake up to.

So he spends all his waking hours finding food and making tools and trying to build a shelter, one that’s off the ground so there’s a lesser chance of him _being killed by a predator_. Because dying is a _very real_ possibility.

It takes him a good few days to even get the materials for his shelter. He’s literally working from nothing and there are so, so many hours he spends awake, he’s so _tired_ but he can barely _sleep_.

The howling wolves and strange noises at night are enough to spur him through his exhaustion to finish the foundation of his soon-to-be-tree-house.

Senkuu finds that even when he’s so thoroughly exhausted from keeping himself alive for another day, even when he’s worked from sun up to sun down building the shelter, even when he _hasn’t slept for **days** on end_

He.

Still.

_Can’t._

_ **Sleep.** _

He wakes up at the slightest noise. The smallest sound has him sitting up with his heart _racing_ and he’s too _paranoid_ to fall back asleep. He has no one to watch out for him but himself. He’s the _only_ one who can protect himself.

He’s lucky if he gets two hours a night.

Senkuu spends so much time awake he thinks he’s started to hallucinate at some point.

Senkuu thinks he hears Taiju’s stupid laugh echoing through the leaves, sharing his joy with anyone who is close enough to hear it. His laughter is contagious, no matter how silly whatever he’s giggling over is, he always manages to bring a smile to Senkuu’s face. Senkuu thinks he catches glimpses of Yuzuriha out of the corner of his eye, running and playing in the forest. Her movements are mischievous and teasing the way she darts around just out of sight, inviting him to join her in the game she created. Senkuu thinks he smells the ramen he and Byakuya used to love to eat so much, the meal they would spend countless hours talking and bonding over. They’re sounds and sights and smells of familiarity, of comfort, of _loving company_.

He hallucinated them because he was so dreadfully alone.

He misses them.

He longs for them.

He _longs_ for his father, he _longs_ for Taiju and Yuzuriha, and he _longs_ for _any_ sort of companionship.

He’s surrounded by statues but he’s utterly and completely _alone_.

... but he’s able to push that loneliness aside and just... get stuff done.

As the months go by and his shelter is built and he’s no closer to cracking the mystery of the petrification, he finds that, while he’s able to actually get some semi-proper sleep, _he still wakes up at all the things that went ‘bump’ in the night_. 

Sometimes it isn’t a noise that wakes him up, it’s a nightmare. Nightmares where he’s never able to revive his loved ones, nightmares where he’ll never see their faces again, nightmares where he’s alone for the rest of his life. 

Sometimes he wakes up with one of their names on his lips, his hands stretched out and reaching, reaching, _reaching_ for someone who isn’t there. He feels tears prick at his eyes and there’s no one there to wipe them away.

Sometimes he wakes up for reasons he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know if it was a noise or if it was a nightmare he couldn’t remember; he still wakes up, and he’s sick of being _alone_.

He’s sick of screaming for somebody who _isn’t there_.

He’s sick of searching for something that _doesn’t exist in this world_.

He’s sick of not being able to sleep and that he’s growing more and more exhausted with each passing day.

He’s sick of getting his hopes up, only for them to come _crashing down_ around him in a _useless_ pile of _despair_ and _emptiness_.

He’s _sick_ and _tired_ of how much work it takes for him to _stay alive_. When was the last time he had a filling meal? He has lost weight that he can’t afford to lose.

_He’s so sick of being alone_. When was the last time he had physical contact with a fellow human being? He hates how utterly _desperate_ he is for it. 

He wants someone to hold him.

He wants someone to soothe all his worries away.

He wants someone to help him up when he falls down.

He wants someone to reassure him.

To help him.

To believe in him.

To make him smile.

To help him love life again.

He wants _Taiju_.

He wants _Yuzuriha_.

He wants _Byakuya_.

_He wants them_.

Did it really matter what he _wanted_, though? Wants are _distractions_. There’s _death_ in distraction. 

There’s no _use_ in crying over something he doesn’t have. For now, he should only focus on surviving. 

He can’t do it forever, but it’s easier on his mind (for now) if he just focuses on his tasks and doesn’t try to think of anything else. Thinking about it will lead him down a road he doesn’t want to travel.

So he sits there at night, thinking about different things, and tries not to think about what he _actually wants to think about_. 

He thinks about what he needs to do the next day. He creates a list of tasks and then he organizes his list by efficiency, urgency, and difficulty. When he’s done with that, he goes through the tasks, one by one, step by step to make sure he doesn’t miss anything important. 

And when he’s done with that, he just falls back into his millennia old habit of counting every second, even though he technically doesn’t need to do that anymore.

He does this until he falls into a fitful sleep. 

He gets up before dawn, works until it’s too dark to see, lies down, plans the next day’s work, counts, and falls asleep.

He repeats the process, over and over and over.

(and over and over and over and overandoverandoverand-)

The day he makes a breakthrough with the petrifaction is both a good day and a bad day. On the one hand he now has something to work with, on the other... 

Well...

He’s still alone.

He pushes the truth out of his mind and starts searching. He’s so _close_, nothing can stop him now.

He finds Taiju first and Yuzuriha second but he doesn’t know where Byakuya is. He didn’t expect to find him, but it still _hurts_. He doesn’t know what happened to him, if he even made it back to Earth or if he _died_ in _space, **starving, SUFFOCATING**_-

_**NO**_.

_No_.

Senkuu makes a point to not go down that path. He has so much to do; he can’t afford to be distracted by millions of ‘what ifs’.

So he digs Taiju up, and after the failed experiment, cleans him off. Senkuu scrubs every last bit of dirt and muck from Taiju’s body because he can’t _bear_ to see him like that. 

When the Big Oaf is free of filth, Senkuu just... kind of loses himself for a moment, looking into Taiju’s petrified face.

He’ll never admit it out loud, but Senkuu’s happy to see him, even if it’s in statue form. It’s only a matter of time before Taiju breaks free and joins Senkuu. He can hardly wait.

To put the Oaf to work, of course! His crazy strength and endurance will free up time for Senkuu to make some scientific progress.

He drags Taiju to the cave where he’s laid out a bunch of brush to cushion the statue. Senkuu doesn’t want to damage the Big Oaf any more than he already is.

He finds Yuzuriha next. He knows that she had met Taiju by the camphor and that she clung to the tree when the beam washed over them. He follows the river, keeping an eye out, when he spots her. He almost missed her, hidden in the vines and roots as she was. He checks to make sure she’s ok and finds that she’s perfectly intact.

When he sees her, unharmed, he loses himself again. 

Senkuu gazes at her stone face for a while and decides to leave her where she is. She is safe with the tree.

He leaves a note carved into the trunk of the camphor for Taiju when he inevitably woke up.

Because he’s _going_ to wake up.

_They’re_ going to wake up.

Senkuu is sure of it.

Because if he doesn’t have that hope, what does he have?

It’s a relief when he sees Taiju awake and wandering around. 

In _so many_ ways it’s a relief. 

It’s a relief in that Senkuu isn’t alone anymore, it’s a relief in that he can focus on science instead of surviving now that he has his Meat Head, it’s a relief in that Taiju is _ok_. That he’s _here_ and _awake_... and coming at Senkuu butt naked.

He falls back into old habits (such... _old_ habits. It has been _so_ long...) when there is nothing that he wants more than to let Taiju wrap him up in his big, strong (_warm, **real**_) arms and never let him go. But still he hops away from the oaf, yelling about not touching him when he’s naked.

Senkuu takes Taiju back to his little camp out and gets him settled in. 

He can’t stop thinking about how happy and relieved he is now that he has Taiju back and he can’t help his lingering gaze. Taiju, for Senkuu’s sake, pretends not to notice.

Night falls and the two of them are together in Senkuu’s little hut. Taiju doesn’t say anything when Senkuu scoots close to him and lays down, not quite touching, but close enough to feel... safe. 

Taiju doesn’t push Senkuu, he just smiles widely and opens his arms - an invitation - and it’s all Senkuu needs in order for him to cuddle up close to his Big Oaf. He buries his face into Taiju’s neck and breathes in his scent. 

Senkuu clutches at him, running his hands along Taiju’s back and sides and chest; feeling strong muscle and fresh, rejuvenated skin move with _life_ beneath his wandering touch.

Senkuu’s breath is hot on Taiju’s neck and his hands are _everywhere_ and Taiju _shivers_. Senkuu starts to pull away, embarrassed, but Taiju hugs him closer, _willing_ him to understand. _It’s just me, Senkuu, it’s just me. I don’t mind. Not at all._

Taiju’s lips brush against Senkuu’s forehead and a hand combs through his hair ever so gently and just like that, Senkuu relaxes.

For the first time in _several_ millennia, Senkuu sleeps like a rock, safe and secure in Taiju’s care.

It’s not just the fact that there’s someone there, that he isn’t alone anymore that’s enough to get him to sleep. It’s the fact that the person there with him is _Taiju_. Taiju is warm and safe and strong and _familiar_\- he helps Senkuu relax and let his guard down because Senkuu knows Taiju will be there for him. 

In the months that the two are together, Senkuu not only makes leaps and bounds with his science, but he sleeps so much better. He still wakes up from odd noises, or from Taiju shifting or mumbling in his sleep, but the nightmares have become much less frequent (every few nights instead of every night) and he finally feels _safe_.

Taiju wakes up too, sometimes. He wakes up from unfamiliar noises, sure, but what wakes him up 90% of the time is Senkuu. He’ll be woken up by the whimpers Senkuu tries so hard to swallow, or the rigidity Senkuu’s body takes on when he’s scared and tries to hide it. The worst way Taiju was woken up was when Senkuu cried. He’s only ever done it once (that Taiju is aware of, he won’t ask if it’s happened before), a few nights after Taiju was revived. Within a foggy haze, Taiju slowly became aware of a peculiar sound, soft and confusing. As he slowly returned to consciousness, he was about to pick up what he was hearing. Sniffles. Soft, choked huffs for breath.

His heart absolutely broke at the sound and he did all that he could to help his scientist feel better.

From that moment on, whenever Taiju realized Senkuu was awake when he was supposed to be asleep, whether it was due to fear or paranoia or horrible nightmares, he would comfort him. Taiju would hug Senkuu a little tighter, stroke his hair and press gentle kisses to his face, whisper sweet nothings into his ears until he fell back asleep.

If Senkuu could sleep, Taiju could sleep.

Sometimes, it would be the other way around. Taiju would be the one waking up in a cold sweat and Senkuu would be the one coaxing him back to sleep. Senkuu would rub Taiju’s back and let his Oaf squeeze him tightly for comfort, like a living teddy bear (though not quite as plush. Far from it, actually, but it seemed to make Taiju happy).

After a few months of healthier sleeping habits, Senkuu makes a breakthrough with the revival formula and he’s excited to wake Yuzuriha up. He can’t _wait_ to see her again, and he knows Taiju feels the same way. Senkuu is eager to have their craftswoman back, to be able to bounce ideas off her, and to watch her work miracles with the smallest amount of material available.

He anticipates having the final member of their little group back with them. He thinks fondly of talking to them about anything and everything, of teaching them about the science he’s using, of sharing meals with them, of cuddling with them after a hard day’s work.

All those happy little thoughts are shattered when the lions show up and they have to revive someone else first.

It’s a miracle that they lived to see another day, but now what little peace of mind Senkuu had is utterly destroyed. 

And suddenly he goes back to not being able to sleep, even with Taiju’s arms wrapped snuggly around him. Tsukasa leaves the two to the shelter, claiming to be more at peace sleeping under the stars, so Senkuu doesn’t have a problem with continuing to cuddle with Taiju. 

Later that night Senkuu has trouble sleeping because of the nightmares. He has nightmares of being killed by _lions_ in _Japan_. 

He has nightmares of _Taiju_ being killed by lions, of Yuzuriha’s statue falling and _breaking into a million pieces_-

He wakes up; sweating, terrified that Taiju is dead, that he’s been _ripped apart_ by savage beasts, that Yuzuriha’s statue is _gone_-

And then he relaxes when he realizes that Taiju and Yuzuriha are safe.

That they are ok.

That even though Senkuu doesn’t really trust him, they have Tsukasa looking out for them.

Yuzuriha is safe in the camp and Taiju is right next to Senkuu, but it’s not quite enough.

All gentle whispers and soft kisses can do is reassure him that Taiju is ok, but Senkuu does not want to go back to sleep because he’s afraid of what he’ll see.

That’s what trauma does to a person, after all.

They both lie awake that night, holding each other until dawn.

This happens _every night_ for a _week_.

Lack of sleep isn’t as dire as it used to be, thankfully, now that Tsukasa is there.

Life with Tsukasa is, well... it isn’t normal, but they are eating better than before and despite all his help and claims that he’ll keep them safe, Senkuu doesn’t trust Tsukasa. However, it is kind of nice having another set of eyes watching out for them.

Months go by and just when he thinks the nightmares have died down, Senkuu has a really, really bad one, the night before Tsukasa shows his true intentions. He didn’t even know what it _meant_ at the time, he barely remembered it, but it had evidentially scared him so badly it had set him on edge and a good night’s sleep went out the window.

The next day, Senkuu is still on edge, Tsukasa breaks a man’s head clean off his body, and Senkuu has the horrible realization that his distrust of the man was spot on.

And so it goes! Yuzuriha’s revival, something that was supposed to be filled with joy and unbridled happiness, is poisoned with the threat of a murderer, and the three flee to make the ultimate weapon of science. 

They’re safe for the time being when they make it to the hot springs and Senkuu teases them and puts them to work. But Taiju and Yuzuriha know Senkuu well. They can see it in the way he looks at them, they can hear it in his tone, they can feel it when his touch lingers on their skin. They know how deeply he’s missed them.

Senkuu wants them around. He wants to see their faces and hear their voices and feel their warmth.

He wants to teach and impress them with his knowledge.

He wants to be able to encourage and believe in them, like they do for him.

He wants them to tell him their hopes and dreams so he can make them a reality.

Because when you’re doing something for the people you love, it doesn’t feel like work.

That night, the three lie in a cuddle pile together. Taiju is holding Senkuu on one side and Yuzuriha is on the other. She’s hugging him with one arm and lacing the fingers of her other hand with his. Somehow, they’re all three able to find a way to hold hands and complete their little circle.

Sleep does not come easy, but Senkuu is _exhausted_ and the other two are _right there_ and eventually he slips into unconsciousness.

The nightmare this time is Tsukasa hunting them down, first he slaughters Taiju, then Yuzuriha. Only after he’s forced Senkuu to watch them die horrible deaths does Tsukasa put him out of his misery.

He wakes up to tears streaming down his face and he hiccups.

Suddenly, Taiju and Yuzuriha’s hands slip out of his, and he panics, fearing the worst. It turns out that he had nothing to worry about, because Taiju flops onto his back, pulls Senkuu and Yuzuriha with him, and wraps them up in his arms. They’re kind of squished like that but Senkuu _drinks_ in the warmth and comfort. Yuzuriha wiggles until her arms are free and she cups his face and wipes away his tears with her thumbs.

“It’s ok, Senkuu,” she whispers. “It’s ok.”

“We’re all here,” Taiju adds. “We’re all safe.”

It’s then that he notices that Taiju and Yuzuriha are crying as well, and one by one he reaches up to brush away their sadness and fear.

He relaxes and grabs one of Yuzuriha’s hands, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tightly, while his other arm winds under Taiju’s and grasps at the Oaf’s shoulder. Yuzuriha does the same on the other side.

With their new and improved cuddle pile, the three actually get some decent sleep.

The next day, because of a mistake on Senkuu’s part (a horrible, _stupid_ mistake), all three of them have been thoroughly, thoroughly traumatized. 

Yuzuriha had almost been _killed_. She had nearly _died_. 

Taiju and Yuzuriha thought that their third member _had_ died. They thought he was _dead_. 

_**Murdered**_.

Taiju thought he was carrying Senkuu’s _corpse_.

When they picked apart Senkuu’s tiny hint and he was suddenly blinking up at them, rain in his eyes and slipping down his cheeks, they tackle him in the mud. They were laughing and crying and planting quick, fast-paced kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his fingers...

He closes his eyes and relishes in their victory.

A hand tentatively brushes against his cheek and he starts when he feels lips on his and his eyes flicker open.

He sees Yuzuriha pull away completely, cheeks red and embarrassed.

In a surprisingly impulsive move, Senkuu places a hand on her shoulder and pulls her back down. Their lips touch and they kiss and kiss and kiss.

He lets Taiju lace their fingers together and Yuzuriha cup his face with gentle hands. Taiju’s arm winds around Yuzuriha and tugs her closer until she’s practically lying on Senkuu’s legs.

The two pull apart to catch their breath and Senkuu tilts his head back to look at Taiju’s adoring face. They gaze at each other until Senkuu breaks the silence. 

“Are you gonna kiss me too, Big Oaf or do I have to do everything around here?”

Yuzuriha laughs at Taiju leaping forward and nearly forehead-smashing Senkuu. Taiju is an enthusiastic partner, but when Senkuu makes a strange sound, something between a squeak and a hiss, he realizes he may be too enthusiastic. 

He dials back the eagerness in favor of getting to keep kissing Senkuu.

Yuzuriha’s hand reaches up and plays with Taiju’s hair as she relaxes into Senkuu, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arm around his waist.

Taiju and Senkuu pull away to breathe and the three just... sit there for a while and hold each other close.

Senkuu knows what they have to do next, but he’s _not_ going to let this moment pass him by. After all this time, after all this _longing_ and _wanting_ and _waiting_, he’s _NOT_ going to let it slip away.

Eventually they untangle and Senkuu tells them his plan. 

After quite a few lingering hugs and kisses, Taiju and Yuzuriha go back to Tsukasa and Senkuu finds and helps the girl trapped under the tree.

That night Senkuu thinks about Yuzuriha almost dying. He sees her throat slit and the blood pumping out of her body, dribbling down the dress he and Taiju had made special for her. He thinks of when he was passed out (_when he was killed_, his brain whispered), Taiju and Yuzuriha were at Tsukasa’s mercy. He tries not to think about what could have happened and what he could have lost.

What he _has_ lost, if only temporarily.

He lies there in a makeshift sleeping bag, next to an on-guard Kohaku.

And Senkuu can’t sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> For my discord friends who inspire me to write.


End file.
